Why do many men fear the sexual power of women? The Indian psychologist
Sudhir Kakar provides an explanation in his book
The Inner World.
His theory has eight steps, cyclically connected:
1. When farming got developed, men took over the
domain of plant food. This made the male group of the family (agnates) keep their
land together and arrange inheritance rules accordingly.
2. When a son marries he is more or
less kept away from his in-married wife because she is seen as a threat for the
solidarity in the agnate group.
3.Therefore, the wife has a unsatisfactory relationship with her husband
and his family.
4. When she bears a son, she gets more respect from his family, so a son
is very important for her.
5. Subconsciously, she projects not
only her love but also her unmet sexual desire on the son.
6. The son enjoys her love as a
paradise, but her adult sexuality he feels as way too much and even as
dangerous, poisonous.
7. In his adulthood the son expects
the same unconditional love from women, but also deeply fears their female
sexuality.
8. When he marries he will keep her
sexuality away from him as it still feels as dangerous, which is functional for
the agnate group solidarity.
Some versions of the Indian goddess Kali represent the deep ambivalence
of men about women.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/232036.The_Inner_World
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Many societies have a more or similar type of kinship pattern. In catholic
Mediterranean cultures the deep ambivalence of men about women is
symbolized by the ‘Madonna-whore’ complex.
All along millions of years men have been going out and leaving their women
behind, with perhaps the fear of female sexuality as a push factor contributing
to the men’s adventurous travels, as hunters, explorers, conquerors, cowboys,
sailors or warriors, and in modern society as commuters to their work.
See also: http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/unveiling-madonna-whore-complex
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