Do you go out of your way in passionately courting a woman or pretend that
you indifferently wait for her to come after you? Perhaps neither of the two: a
woman likes to feel both the genuine love of your heart and your respect for
her need of having space to breath.
All fine, but in the end something has to be done, right? And how do you
know what should be done? Well, don’t expect her to show the way. If she does,
she’s the wrong one for you.
And don’t study her more in order to know what she wants. No? Then what?
Here’s the answer. Give up thinking about her and the contact. Give up? Yes.
Just focus on yourself and feel yourself, your body.
Feel love moving around in your heart. If you don’t feel it instantly,
imagine it is there. Fake it until you make it. Nothing wrong with it, if you
are sincere. Feel your longing for sex, not by fantasizing graphically about
how you will have sex with her, but by feeling the blood heating up in your
belly. Feel your fear of getting rejected or getting real close. Where in your
body? And feel your lust for life, breath it in and out.
Feel your respect for her boundaries. No no, don’t try to imagine what her
exact boundaries may be. That is up to her. For you it is about feeling your
respect, inside of yourself.
And whatever you feel in yourself, express it in words. Deep down she knows
already what you feel but she likes you all the more when you express yourself.
Words make reality surface. Such words will reassure her. She wants you for
that comfort.
Contact will follow. Don’t worry. And that contact may be the fertile breeding
ground for deeper contact, for each of you and between the two of you.
If she still goes on asking you what you feel, grow desperate or angry, and
show it. She will be quietly taking it in. And ask again. :-)
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